Have you ever felt life is like a snowball that turns into a wrecking ball as it crashes through your safety net? That about describes 2017 for me as I focused on learning about obedience. Challenge after challenge after challenge. For me, it felt like walking through the Refiner’s fire. My husband called it a shaking. Thankfully, when God shakes and refines, we grow and mature.

The following are 17 challenges I faced in 2017 and how I managed life amidst them.

1. My one word for 2017 was OBEDIENCE.

Obedience comes with a cost. Always. It may cost time, money, relationships, or any other number of things. What it cost me was my pride.

2. It’s very humbling when the Lord shines a light on the less-than-perfect parts of you.

For a while, I walked through life knowing that my love for my Father is pure. What I learned in 2017 is that, sometimes, my love for others isn’t. Sometimes I am irritated by others. Sometimes I am no good at putting others before myself. Sometimes I complain about others. Loving others as I would love myself is one of the greatest commandments. And that means putting them before myself. Obedience isn’t always easy, and it’s never solely to benefit me.

3. I need to talk less and pray more.

It seemed like every time I opened my mouth, I faced conviction. When life is coming at you from all angles, it’s difficult to deal with at times. It requires faith. It requires trust. People will always let us down, disappoint, fall short of our expectations. What we do with that reveals what’s inside of us – it makes a difference. I found that still-small voice reminding me that I was speaking of God’s creation. Rather than begrudging others for their shortcomings, I needed to pray for revelation of who God created them to be. That needs to be spoken over them. Complaining doesn’t resolve anything. Nor does it ever truly placate that irritated place inside of me. Only God’s peace does. And that comes from my faith and trust in Him.

4. Work isn’t the solution to financial difficulties. Or financial irresponsibility.

Working harder and making more money doesn’t solve issues. Instead, it tends to create more issues to solve. I worked harder in 2017 than I’ve worked in several years. Although my income increased (doubled), my stress levels did not decrease. Instead, my stress went up. Which means my enjoyment of life went down. And we still struggled at times.

5. Taking time off is important.

Until Christmas week, I hadn’t taken a break from work in … I don’t know how many months. Busyness is exhausting – both physically and emotionally. Our minds need a break from mental work just as our bodies need a break from physical work. That’s why companies give employees vacations. As a self-employed person, it’s super important to give yourself permission to take a vacation, even if it simply means setting aside the laptop for a week in order to spend time with family and friends – or to take a week-long nap.

6. It’s okay to prioritize, which is something I am going to be sure to do in 2018.

I spent so much time working on clients’ projects in 2017 that I didn’t work on anything of my own. My brand new blog sat silent for the year. My own novel never was written. As much as I dreamed of doing a variety of things, those projects collected dust while I edited and wrote others’ material. Yes, I can say I achieved many things in 2017. And they were great achievements. But I cannot say I achieved what I know God is calling me to achieve. And that means I wasn’t obedient to my calling in every area.

7. God is good despite our failures.

And He is patient. He gives us second chances. And third chances. And 490th chances.

8. Obedience isn’t negotiable.

That lesson is hard-learned at times. I remember learning it well as a young adult when my parents told me I had to leave their home if I wasn’t willing to obey their house rules (which really weren’t that difficult on me). Today, I have realized how difficult it is for a parent to have to teach that lesson. Just before Christmas, one of my own children had to learn that lesson. Fortunately, it didn’t take him six months to decide he could live with our house rules. It only took him a few weeks.

9. There’s a fine balance between challenging our kids and allowing them the rest they need.

My daughter loves theatre. She’s a drama queen onstage and off. There were times this year when I had to push her to do what was required of her in order to perform onstage, but offstage I had to realize when she needed a break. It’s good to discipline oneself in order to pursue your dreams. Part of that discipline is knowing when to rest. It’s okay for a kid to take a day off from school in order to rest from the overwhelm.

10. It’s okay for adults to take a day off to rest from the overwhelm too.

I have a dear friend who once told me that, on occasion, she takes a day off from ministry. She doesn’t answer the phone or email or Facebook Messenger. She doesn’t tell anyone she’s taking the day off. She simply rests. Disconnects from the world. Takes a break. It’s okay to need a refresher and to get it by taking a day off. The world will still be there tomorrow.

11. I am blessed with the best friends ever.

It’s been many, many years since I’ve had the opportunity to build relationships with anyone in particular outside of my immediate family. Sure, I’ve had long-distance friendships and the occasional fairly-acquainted friend. But it’s been at least a decade since I’ve been able to truly do life with another female – three, actually. God has shown me exactly how much He loves me by blessing me with my three best female friends over the past couple of years.

12. When life gets tough, marriage gets tougher.

This is two-fold. Relating can be a difficult thing, but difficulties have a way of bringing us closer together. Through the experience with our son, I’m learning to trust my husband more and more. Sometimes we have to let go of the past hurts and allow God to work in our marriages. Healing is there for those who want it. Again, I had to lay down my pride in order to make room for God’s best.

13. Breakthrough isn’t always immediately evident, nor does it happen all at once.

We don’t live in movie world, where the door opens the first time it’s kicked or the lock is picked or the detonation device goes off. Breakthrough requires work, and it happens one small moment at a time. It takes continual effort on our part to bring it into fruition. If we want the victory in an area, we have to fight for it. Want to lose weight? It requires healthy eating, drinking a lot of water, and exercising. Sitting around wishing you could beat that sugar addiction isn’t going to get you the breakthrough you desire. Especially not if you’re sitting there eating a box of chocolates while hoping to succeed. Put the chocolate down and get to work.

14. I miss giving.

I love encouraging, promoting, and cheering for others. 2017 felt like a year of turning inward for me. Like I was so focused on my own life that I didn’t look up and out very often. Like I was so busy dealing with my own stuff that I never had an opportunity to give to someone else, to help others deal with their stuff. I realized that God was focusing me on my own family, my own children, my own marriage. And that is great for this season, because I’m witnessing transformation in our relationships as I’ve done so. But I miss giving outside of our home. I miss hosting people and entertaining for an evening. I miss deep conversations with close friends and pouring into them instead of them pouring into me. Or as they pour into me. I miss giving financially despite the state of my bank account. I miss giving. And it’s good to recognize what we miss doing. Because God can use that to get us back to a place He wants us in life.

15. It isn’t about me.

I’m going to be really transparent and vulnerable here. I dream big. I’m not afraid to have faith that God will use me to do big things and provide the finances to do them. I want to be rich – in life, in love, and in wealth. I’m a daughter of the King of Kings who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Why couldn’t I be? What I have to be careful of is letting my own desires get in the way of God’s design for my life. It’s about doing His will and allowing Him to move in that obedience. It’s about testimony and His glory. Not me and mine. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that, as my humanity gets in the way. I had lost sight of that at one point earlier this year. Not anymore.

16. God isn’t a genie, and sometimes I want Him to be.

I was shocked – in awe – when my husband and I were discussing finances and he told me that. I realized in that moment that sometimes I wanted God to relieve our financial stress by sending that unexpected check in the mail or providing an angel who suddenly decided they wanted to bless us with a house of our own. After all, He’s done it for others. We’ve heard testimonies all year. So where’s mine? Yep. Another vulnerable moment in my life. And an eye-opening one. I have no problem working for financial provision. But sometimes I want God to be a genie in His provision method. And that’s not a healthy way to view Him or His provision. There’s hope and faith and then there’s foolish selfishness. I would rather walk in the former and wait for the blessing that follows.

17. The blessing is in the obedience.

Yes, obedience requires sacrifice. But obedience is so much better than sacrifice, as well. When we are obedient, the sacrifices are easier to manage than if we forgo obedience. God blesses obedience. Philippians 2:12-13 says, “Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him” (NLT).

I hope that something I’ve learned in the past year has provided a nugget for you to take away, dear reader. After a year of looking inward and dying to self, I’m so ready to Look Up and Live! Here’s to a much better year in 2018!

What have you learned in the past year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!